this is me--

new blog

2005-08-06T20:40:00.000+08:00

http://abybaby.blogspot.com

my third, actually..

:D

c u der!

fmid blood

2005-07-15T22:30:00.000+08:00

i've been an fmidian for two years..

i miss you, guys!

2005-07-07T17:46:00.000+08:00

freeter.
who? me!

i came in late for classes again. before i even get the chance to take my seat, sir suson asked me to answer his question. i just laughed at the thought that he was kidding. i sat down, when wewe answered sir suson, "sir, kararating lang," "ganyan talaga," said sir suson. so i stood up and asked, "sir, what's the question?" i barely understood him when he repeated the question and i think i gave a stupid answer.

ba3. it's mr lopez, man. i prayed not to be called for the recitation cause i haven't been reading the newspaper since july1. i'm so thankful i wasn't. last meeting(tuesday), i tried to avoid his subject by coming in at 9am, just after his period because i was afraid of being called and not be able to present my assignment.

yes. i'm a freeter.
we don't live to study/work, we study/work to live. some people sacrifice a lot of things for their studies and work, i won't. yes, i know i should take my studies seriously, but that's not me. i'd rather live than study. how do i live life? that's my problem..

ice queen.
who? aint me. was me.

it's really strange not having a friends from the opposite sex since i was a kid. yes, i've had a few, but they were of the same gender 'by heart'. haha! i still don't know why. i always felt awkward around male species. maybe because the only man i grew up with is my father, and we were never close.. i was always afraid of him. it was only in my adolescence whe he tried to make it up to us.. too late, i guess.

i didn't know how, but slowly, i made a few male friends now. i even think they make good friends. except for one. hehe.

bored yet tired.
me.

feeling useless.
me.

nakakainis!

2005-07-06T21:00:00.000+08:00

late na naman ako kanina. nakakainis! alam nyo ba yung feeling? everyday, pinipilit mo gumising nang maaga kahit nasa kalagitnaan ka palang ng masarap na tulog tapos biglang tutunong yung alarm mo. alas singko na pala! i mean, alas singko palang pero kelangan nang bumangon. dapat walang aksayahing oras, diretso agad sa banyo, susuray suray pa na parang lasing tapos biglang tatamaan nang pagkalamig lamig na tubig! ayun, gising ka na.

tapos magmamadali ka para hindi abutan ang mahabang pila sa sakayan. sampung minuto ka lang mahuli, siguradong late ka na. tapos pagdating mo sa classrum, absent ka pa rin kahit pinilit humabol. e di sana itinulog ko na lang! (sabagay, yun naman madalas ko ginagawa, kaso tatakot na ko, wala pang isang buwan, malapit na ako ma-fa! hehe! dami absences eh. lalo first subjects.) nakakainis!

minsan, dahil sa takot kong mahuli nang prof na natutulog, pinipilit kong dumilat kahit ayaw na ng mata ko. naduduling na nga ako non eh. seryoso! tuloy, humarap ako sa classmate ko patalikod sa prof ko. wala ako sa sarili. napatanga lang sakin classmate ko. saka nagsabi ng "ha?!" don ako natauhan! matagal na palang nakatitig lang ako sa kanya. nakakainis! nakakahiya

pagkatapos ng klase, kakain lang ng lunch tapos didiretso na uwi. duon ka babawi ng tulog. tapos mahihirapan ka na makatulog dahil kagigising mo lang, puyat ka uli. late ka na naman.

non-sense, as usual

2005-07-01T16:45:00.000+08:00

President GMA's popularity ratings reach an all time high.
Her CD reached platinum in less less than a week.
:D

i'm mad

2005-06-20T16:27:00.000+08:00

not mad meaning angry..

mad as in seriously sick at the brain!
yeah..

the day after

2005-06-16T23:32:00.000+08:00

things seem to be getting better..

i woke up at 5am with the sound of the alarm clock. i slept late again last night that i didn't wanna wake up early. the first thing that entered my mind was, i am getting to be late and i have to wake up, but another part of me said.. i don't care if i'm going to be late.. who's gonna mind it, anyway? so i slept again. but again, after fifteen minutes, the alarm sounded. i forced myself to wake up. i have to live my life.. i have to make things better and reorganize myself.

the traffic was heavy.. i didn't expect that coz it's still too early. i was almost late but the professor didn't come in so i was saved.
kristelle, from section ba3 entered our classroom, and has been giggling, because she's in the same section with her crush and she said there are a lot of cute guys in their class.. wewe strongly agreed. i told her they're lucky because if you'd look around our classroom, you'd find no cuties. :D she looked around, and said, "oo nga." wewe even joked that while ba1 is the star section, ba3 is star-studded..

finally, our professor for the next subject, ba3 or the philippine business environment, arrived. an old, thin man. he looked serious. he asked us if we already know him and the class answered no. then he joked he thought he was famous and faced the whiteboard to write his name. "richard gomez!" someone blurted from the back. "ulol!" our professor answered. we all burst into laughter! i bet, you too, if you had been there. imagine that old man with the sickly appearance saying that word..

when he was checking the name list, he made a comment on one of my classmates' surname, balagtas, he said "poet," upon hearing that, i already expected him to ask about sisa or crispin. and he did! he said, "asan si sisa?" "nasa bahay po," i answered and smiled. he also asked one of my classmates named erica, "kamusta si ryan?" ahaha! (memories of bali)

then he started telling us stories. he told us he's an ex seminarian. he stayed nine years in the seminary then he was kicked out. why? he has different views from what the catholic church is teaching, and he said he's such a rascal. he even recounted and incident which made the nationwide newspaper in his second year in high school, they (his barkada and our professor) disarmed a drunk policeman and paraded him around their town.

he also told us he was once a theology, psychology, and philosophy professor but he was removed. why? maybe he's been teaching his views which opposed the catholic teaching. (he told us, it is right to commit suicide if it is for a cause, like what jesus did!) he said the subject he enjoyed most was marriage and family. he would even teach something like how to both enjoy making love and a lot of stuff. he said most guys think they're really good at it when in fact, they're not!

he cursed a lot.. made a lot of funny faces, and told us a lot of green stuff.. yet we like him. he made us laugh. and that's one thing i really need right now.

after him, marriage and family under sir nuevo. i find sir nuevo really cute and cuddly. hehe. like a kid. he smiles as if he's a shy kid. and i find it amusing. i see him really like a cute kid. hehe.

had he entered yesterday, i would have been relieved and glad he's my professor because i was stressed by the two professors that came in yesterday.. and having known him from precom, i knew he's kind.. but coming in after the old man who loves to curse, the class seemed bored.

enters another professor, a new professor in the university, for comlaw or contracts and obligations. he seemed nice though he seemed formal. he talked really fast that we couldn't catch up to what he's saying. from time to time, he would ask, "am i talking too fast?," "yes.." we would anwer in chorus. "would you like me to slow down?", and another "yes" chorus.

he mentioned he regretted not going to UP, coz though he passed, he went to another school because his girlfriend didn't. they went to the same school together. that's the "beauty of love" ironically, he said.

he also admitted he had really bad handwriting when he wrote his name on the board. he recounted that when he was in college, the usual method of courting a girl is thru a love letter being passed from one person to another, until it reaches the girl. and out ouf his 44 attempts, he was rejected 52 times! that's why when the 53rd girl said yes, he immediately asked him to marry her, and in a week, they were married. though the marriage at first was void, he lived up to it, and joked that he regrets it sometimes, getting married just because of hid bad penmanship.

he started discussing, and from time to time, would inject humor, he told us lots of funny things. he was talking fast when he asked my seatmate something, and my seatmate didn't answer, he said, "by the way, ano nga palang nangyari kay fatima dun sa kampanerang kuba kagabi?" haha! and we thought he was already serious..

yeah.. maybe these professors are just trying to break the ice on the first meeting.. but that's ok, at least they made us laugh and lessened the stress.

after classes, we were going to lunch when someone tapped me from behind on dapitan. gerard. we were surprised to see him there but i remembered katri saying he'll be going to ust today. he was just there to see someone, that was really sweet of him. he told us things about his new school.. etc.

then we headed to the library. i wanted to go home but i don't wanna walk from dapitan to espana alone. so much, i didn't do anything in the library while my classmates are working over our assignment in finance. i even lent my classmate the book i just bought so he can start working on our other assignment which is due on saturday. i don't feel like reading.

but still, i had to walk alone. i usually ride proj6 fx, then i am supposed to get down on visayas avenue and take the jeepney or a tricycle to tandang sora, but this time, it was different. the driver asked if i'm headed to tandang sora, and i said yes. he said he's headed there too and we don't have to get off on visayas ave, he'll bring us to tandang sora. what a luck! aside from the little money that was saved, i am also saved from the burning heat and had a comfortable ride..

getting better..

i'm feeling down

2005-06-15T23:52:00.000+08:00

i'm not quite happy with my new section. i have to wake up early every morning, something i'm not used to. and, i'm pressured. i don't know why am i in section 1 in the first place.. i've had low grades on my previous BA subjects, and i never lifted a page of my BA book for the classifying exams. (sabi nnga nila common sense lang yan!) even my classmates from second year were surprised when they found out i'm in the first section of eight. i'm pressured because of a few reasons, like, the two profs (finance and math) that came in this morning both looked serious, my classmates are serious about studying (not that i'm not!) and i don't wanna be the only one in the class who can't understand algebra! hehe! i really really hate math!

after class, rose, elsewhere, jj and i saw some of our former classmates, jm, eliza, ida and kristelle, and invited them to eat lunch together. katri was early for her class which starts at 12 so i told her to come over before heading to class..
my classmates, particularly rose, invited us to the library to work on our assignments after lunch, and i was the only one who refused.. me? in the library?! :D not that i've never been there but i'm not the type whom you'd see in the library. maybe in a few weeks? hehe.. being with rose, wewe and jj!

and who's fussing over ba? me! having no accounting subjects anymore, i thought i'd be leaving computations behind.. and i am wrong! one more, accounting students look at the other three majors, ba, eco and entrep inferior to theirs. ok, so maybe they do better in math, but aren't they those students who were worried about their ba subjects? and to think they always say ba is just common sense. (i didn't take the qualifying exams in acctg. why? i hate math! and so it hates me back!)

what else happened after lunch? my classmates headed to the library, so i asked eliza and ida if they could accompany me to espana so i can go home. while we were walking, ida asked me about my boyfriend.. i told her it was over.. then guess what? nakasalubong namin siya (at tagalog talaga!) all he said was, "uy!" it seemed fast, i didn't know what exactly happened. and i didn't know what i felt, i felt my heart jump.. or fall.. or whatever.. like someone or something just hit my chest. really. (so i'm making a big deal out of it, right? just let me..) seconds later he was out of my sight. eliza and ida asked, "sino yon?," "siya," i answered. they both said "sabi ko na nga ba eh, sayang di ko nakita," followed by ida's "halata sa reaction mo eh." does that confirm that it happened in a second or two? to think that the impact was too strong that up to now i don't know what i'm feeling. i thought i was fast recovering.. i was able to resist the urge of calling or texting him- for two days. i really want to get over it. start anew. i'm not saying finding someone else, coz maybe i'm still too immature to be in a relationship. it's hurting me.. like some kind of self-torture or self-denial.. but maybe it's better this way.

maybe i'll have my chance in love someday.. it'll just come.

cassidy and the kid :D

2005-06-14T23:07:00.000+08:00

this afternoon, i took our dog, cassidy for a walk.
when we reached the park, i decided to sit down for a while. cassidy was just playing on my side, when i saw the naughty kid coming.

a few weeks ago, my sister, jeza, was on the park with our other dog, trellis, and lovely and cassie, when the boy came near her and trellis, jeza taught he wanted to play with the dog like other kids do, he patted trellis like he found him cute, then suddenly, he poked trellis on the head with the plastic bottle he's holding which made jeza scream. since then, whenever the kid tried to go near them, they would immediately run away.

i decided to give the boy a chance. i've let him come near, but when i saw he was about to kick cassie, i pulled cassie and said, "wag mong sasaktan." guess what? the kid spitted at cassie's face! i bent down to wipe it when the kid suddenly kicked cassie! i was furious, but all i said was, "ano ka ba?!" i tried to control myself because i know he's just a kid..

i don't know what i want to tell you.. maybe.. guard your kids and your dogs.. hehe!

it's independence day

2005-06-12T00:44:00.000+08:00

araw ng kalayaan.
araw ng paglaya.
sana ako rin.
baw.

mr. and mrs. smith

2005-06-10T23:35:00.000+08:00

ang ganda!

brad and angelina look so bagay! hehe..
forgive me for the taglish.

i like brad.
need i explain?
i could sing "you're a god" for him
even with my awful singing voice :D
but i don't like the fact that he left jennifer..
(for angelina?)
i like angelina.
she's so sexy.
i'm bisexual.
nah, kidding!
i like her not because she's a bad ass but simply because she isn't afraid to do everything she wants to do, whatever comes her way. like adopting her son maddox, despite disapprovals- even of her father. and she performs her own stunts. like in tomb raider and the movie i'm talking about. aside from being hollywood's bad girl, i've also heard she's a humanitarian. she's been helping the people in the middle east. at one time she donated a million dollars to the iraq (or was it afghanistan?) refugees. (ahihi! bisexual nga ata ako!)

nyways, like what they said, mr. and mrs. smith is a love story in disguise.
an exaggeration about a marriage built on lies.

hmmn..

what do mr and mrs smith do when not trying to kill each other?
(sing)
making love.. out of nothing at all.. makin' love..

i guess that's it. hehe

i love the weather

2005-06-09T18:00:00.000+08:00

i love the weather.
i love the clouds.
i love the wind.

i love the tranquility.
no people on the streets.
not much noise.
cool breeze.
i find peace on this kind of weather.

i just love it!
minus the rain..

under construction

2005-06-06T19:42:00.000+08:00

comment sa layout ko pls..

para ma-improve ko.

if you want to check out my former layout
click on the link below:

http://abybaby.blogspot.com

CONTRADICTIONS

2005-06-03T21:20:00.000+08:00

there are two contradicting schools of thought about living life.

the first one is the one that says we should always be prepared for the future. it doesn't matter if we have to suffer now. there's always a valley of succes behind the hills of sacrifice. in filipino literature, there's the classic story of the langgam at tipaklong.
while the other one teaches us to live life in the present. they say it's the secret to being happy. be contented with what you have and be happy with in whatever situation you're in. and live your life to the fullest. eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow you shall die.

some say the head is placed above the heart for it to rule the latter.
some say people lose their minds if they don't follow their hearts.

some say when you love someone fight for it. you wouldn't just sit back and wait for fate to bring you together.
some say when you love someone, set it free, if it comes back it's yours. for if it meant to be, destiny will always lead you back.

some say when you love, give it your all, for love isn't about what you expect to get, but about what you are willing to give in order to make that person happy.
some say, hold back, don't give up everything because you might wake up one day and realize you've given everything to the wrong person and have nothing left for yourself or for the right one.

etc. etc. etc.
i'm confused.

random thoughts

2005-06-02T19:16:00.000+08:00

saka na nga bagong layout! hirap naman eh! bulok na tong layout ko.. nakakasuya! kalahating taon na ata to eh.. papagawa nalang ako sa iba.. pwede magvolunteer yung may gusto.. hehe!

enrolment na bukas.. excited ako kasi kita ko uli friends ko! miss you all! :D

wala.. nagpost lang ako para sabihin buhay pa ko.. hehe. saka miss ko kayo!

after a month of silence

2005-05-20T15:33:00.000+08:00

i will start posting again.

i started blogging october of 2004.
i stopped because whenever i reread my older posts, i feel like.. is this the way i want people to read me? someone full of hatred.. a pessimistic someone obsessed with love. more important than that, the way i see myself. i want to see myself happy, i want to be more positive, i want to enjoy every minute of my life, i want to be someone of worth, i don't have to be someone great that everyone will remember me.. i just want to be remembered by the people i love. i want to live a meaningful life.
i know there would be times i'd fail myself. when that time comes, i want you to be there.. and remind me that i am stong.. remind me of the things i just wrote down..

i wouldn't let this blog define me.. a lot of things happen. simple things you do may affect me greatly.. and could totally change the way i view things..

...